Oh man, I really need to get boards over and out of my life. I hate this stress. And everybody here is just the same which compounds the problem. I've only studied my butt off for two years and now it boils down to this eight hour exam on anything and everything. I really just want to pass and move on with rotations because I know that nothing gets worse than this in medical school. Really, it can't.
I can't study at school because the other people talk too much about boards and it makes me nervous. I can study at home, but not for too long because then I start to get into a cyclical pattern of bipolar-like behaviour: thinking I'll pass one minute to crying the next because I am scared that I'll fail. Today a friend and I studied for a couple hours at a coffee shop. That seemed to be exactly what I needed - being around people, but not all-stressed-out-medical-student-freaks! I have come to the conclusion that we are all freaks. All type A personality freaks who really, really care about board exams. In fact, I think that we care too much. I know I do. I am having such a hard time eating that I can't wait to feel hungry again. I feel nauseous so often that I am afraid of getting an ulcer so I bought some Pepto Bismol to take to prevent this. Oh man, that does sound like I am not handling this well at all. I just hate the fact that I somatasize my stress. Thank the Lord that there is less than a week left of this and then I can live. Phew!
What I did today: memorized 10 pages of fungus, learned about HIV, did 120 micro questions and reviewed them, read OMM board book for 6.5 hours, and passed a level on Angry Birds on which I have been stuck for a week. Successful day.
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